Remember that film ‘Sleeping with the enemy’ where Julia Roberts opens up her cupboard to find all the tins straightened and arranged with terrifying anality. And then she realises her deeply unstable husband is in the house and the perfect tins are just the start of a horrifying ordeal. That’s a bit how it feels to arrive in Zurich.
It’s oddly unsettling to walk around a supermarket and realise not a single item is out of line, or slightly wonky, or turned a bit to the side. Every banana is the same length and colour as all the other bananas, every pumpkin exactly the same size as the other pumpkins, every egg is stamped individually with an expiry date and turned up the same way. Gosh, it seems all those stories about the EU measuring bananas were really about Switzerland!
But, oh my goodness, I feel so strangely affected! It took every ounce of restraint not to break out into a loud ‘RAAAAHHHHHH!’ and sprint around turning the labels on tins backwards and randomly altering single cucumbers to perpendicular angles!
I’m now escaping to Liechtenstein and am relieved to see the blinds on the train have been pulled down to varying lengths. It feels much safer here!